Day 19

Mari Udagawa
Apr 14, 2019
2 min read

Updated: Apr 14, 2019

Inpatient Eating Disorder Treatment

Day 19 schedule :

1:20am- Woke up, went back to sleep

3:40am- Woke up, went back to sleep

4:45am- Woke up

5:30am- Stretch

8:00am- Vital signs,weight

8:30am- Breakfast

9:00am-1 hallway lap, study, blog, Stretch

10:30am- Snack 1

10:50am- 1 hallway walk, stretch

11:40am- Stretch

12:30pm- Lunch

1:00pm- 1 hallway walk, went to outside and tanned :)

2:30pm- Snack 2

3:45pm- Stretch

5:10pm- Shower

5:30pm- Dinner

6:00pm- Free time, 1 hallway walk, watched a movie, stretch

7:30pm- Nurse and nurse assistant changed

8:00pm- Stretch

8:05pm- Snack 3

9:40pm- Sleep

Thoughts:

In the morning:

I'm having Kathaleen as my nurse today... Fuck my life...

At leases I have good, nice nurse assistant.

There is another nurse assistant that I really do not like since she changed her attitude towards me from the day my mom left. I realized that she is so different, acts differently because she thinks nurse has stronger power than her. She will do whatever she was asked to when it's nurse, but when she is with assistant nurse, she acts like she is the boss. Hate her.

In the afternoon:

I went outside to tan my skin with my really nice nurse assistance. We talked a lot and had great time.

I'm really tired I do not know why.

I looked my self in the mirror when I went to outside. I thought I gained a to of weight, But I actually still looked like Skelton. I'm confused by my self. I do not know if I want to gain weight or I do not want to. I do not know if I want to get a treatment for follow up. I do want to continue bing eating and purge, I do not think I can stop. But on the other hand, I need help to stop, cure my eating disorder. If I continue, I will die.

At night:

I had this chillest nurse as my night time nurse. She is soooo nice and sooo chill. She thought I got discharged, so she was surprised that I'm still here. She told me she went to the beach with her family daytime and farmers market lol

So far I'm having good day today.I hope tomorrow will be good too. (I hope I will get chill nurse and nurse assistant lol)