Day 14

Inpatient Eating Disorder Treatment

Day 14 schedule:

1:20am- woke up, went back to sleep

3:40am- woke up, went back to sleep

4:30am- woke up

5:00am- Stretch

7:45am- Vital signs, weight

8:40am- Breakfast

9:10am- Free time, blog, 1 lap hallway walk

10:30am- Snack 1

11:00am- Group meeting ( Doctor, psychologist, dietitian, nurse etc)

12:30am- Lunch

1:00pm- Free time, 1 lap hallway walk

2:30pm- Snack 2

3:00pm- Free time, 1 lap hallway walk

3:30pm- Stretch

5:15pm- Shower

5:30pm- Dinner

8:00pm- Free time, Stretch

8:30pm- Snack 3

9:00pm- Free time

10:00pm- Stretch

11:pm- Went to bed

With the Doctor:

I am not ready for discharge. I was really disappointed. No life. Feel like no hope. I made a decision to go residential because she told me I will get discharge earlier. I told her that I got more scared to eat since now my daily calories. She told me I was really sick and still sick. Honestly I do not feel it. She showed my all my labs and improving but I am not safe or healthy.

With Psychologist:

I told her I am really disappointed and feel like hopeless. I made a decision going to residential because the doctor told I will get discharge earlier. I do not feel good. Want to go out side, walk, go around. I have no privacy right now. I have no freedom now.

She suggested me to do arts, but I am not interested.

With dietitian :

I told her that knowing my calories made me more scared to eat. I was not able to drink boost either. She told me I have to eat more calories because my body needs food.

She told me I can use boost.

Thoughts:

After the team meeting- Discourage, Hopeless, disappointed, want to get out from here, have a normal life, want to eat what I want to eat, without force. I saw my calories that I take in a day and I was surprised. I got scared to eat food now. Doctor told me that I have to eat more calories to be healthy. But I got more scared to eat since I know my daily calories. This is too quick. I am scared of eating and that is why I have eating disorder. Knowing my daily calories made me scared to eat. I am not eating food from now on.

I really do not want to do residential treatment. But if I have to, I am going to get the treatment in Hawaii. I also need free time before going to residential. I can not drink alcohol, can not go out to eat or have a drink. I will have no freedom again, but better than inpatient (hospital)

At night- I have to gain weight to get healthy and get out from here.

I am afraid, but I will eat and I will take boost hen I need to. I will keep doing my workouts, but I will eat.

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